I desire a smooth surface for reflective purposes

Over the years, people have said things to me.  Most of these things have been said in passing.  Perhaps it was the glancing nature of the blow that gave them staying power. Like the scar you have to really think about to remember where it came from.  And from examination of these few comments I've become curious.

Because, as it is apparent from my blog, I can say things to myself all day long and have it mean almost nothing.  But these particular observations from others have proven themselves true and in some cases changed my life.  I will share:

Ms. Runnerpants said the animal I most reminded her of was a Mama Bear.  I didn't agree and was in fact a little offended.  Until a few months later when some people challenged the intelligence of my son, and I saw just what she was talking about.  Since then I have recognized the ability and in fact the tendency to be everyone's Mama Bear. 

Cowboy Bob once said "You have a great capacity  to love.  I'd like to see you use it one day."  Ouch, right?  Not really.  Turns out he was completely correct, and I just didn't understand love.  It goes along with a talk I heard once when I was 15:  "Fight fire with love."  I didn't understand that concept either.  And it took almost three years after Cowboy Bob made his observation before I was able to utilize the truth it containted.

Muad'Dib used to say "If you were sorry, you would stop/change."  This was often in response to my offering an "I'm sorry" after an emotional or financial misstep.  When I first told my mom that Muad'Dib said this, she was furious.  Other people have reacted the same way.  I guess that's why I am Muad'Dib's wife (and love every minute of it): because this sort of thing is/was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. 

My mother once said that I was not messed up or moody.  I was "Passionate."  That word has really given me a root.  That and the day she defined "Romantic" for me.  As in the Anne of Green Gables romantic:  seeing beauty everywhere; rose-colored glasses, if you will.  I AM passionate, and at heart, in my secret soul I am also romantic.

My father, when giving a talk the night I received my Young Womanhood award said, "With Sayyadina, I can sleep when the wind blows."  I was eighteen, but that statement made a deep and lasting impression.  He was speaking of trust.  Trust in me!  I didn't know that trust would be an issue with me as I got older, and that knowing I had it from my father would sometimes mean very, very much.

These are just a few examples.  There are more.  Advice, observations - even critisisms that hit their mark, and with time have made a real difference in my life. 

Now, I've thought about doing this for quite a while, and I'm going to do it.  I wonder if there is anyone out there who has something to say to me.  Something you wish I knew.  An observation about me, my mothering, whatever.  Positive or negative.  I do not promise that I will like it, but I am asking that you trust me enough to share it.  So that I may find what truth there is from my friends.

In the past 6 months, I have spent literally days in a row where I have not looked at myself in a mirror more than a passing glance.  Then on a day when I DO finally face myself in a mirror, it is hard to wrap my brain around what I see reflected, because it is not the truth I was functioning under. In some instances I am right.  In others, the mirror is right.  I am searching for this clarity and reflection for my inner self.  Anyone willing to help me out?  It would be greatly appreciated. 

I just thought I'd finally put it out there.  That is all.  Thanks.