Meet Captain Bairdo.
I met him when he barged into my office, interrupting my work with a very formal, " 'Scuse me, ma'am."
"No, my name is Captain Bairdo."
"Oh?" I replied, suprised. "And just who is Captain Bairdo?"
With a very serious face, he begins to explain: "I'm very tough. Very muscle-y. I can turn my eyes on so I can see what's in the dark. And I make everything frozen with my sword. And when I scream it makes my protect sheild. Then I can fight fast and not lose my sheild.
And I can blow fire."
He then turns away, suddenly spinning back to face me with sword drawn, teeth bared and sheild arm ready, exclaiming: "Captain Bairdo is tougher than anyone!"
"I see that!" I say, quite in awe of the little man.
Captain Bairdo marches off in short order, only to return a moment later to clarify one point: "I'm Captain Bairdo only when I put on this hat and my suit with my sword and my sheild. Because I don't have a mask."
After a formal salute this heroic figure of a man swiftly goes back to his room, because - apparently - his puppies need saving.