Tuesday, May 29, 2007

See you in the Funny Pages

This is Liam's favorite. He'll open up "Revenge of the Babysat", turn right to this cartoon and say, "Oh, Mom. He's gonna jump. He ripped! There's his knees." He has done this little commentary for five mornings in a row.
These are just funny.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Expand. Contract.

"It's terrible in here. It's like communism." - Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 5)
Three months ago, Muad'Dib and I decided I should have my own account and my own money. I should have an allotment given to me every week, and have to budget my spending according to that "allowance." We did this because I, like many bored or emotionally hungry women, was a spend-a-holic. Not really a shop-a-holic because I didn't enjoy shopping, didn't like looking for things to buy, but I did enjoy purchasing on impulse. My justification was usually one of the following:

1. "I work hard with the kids. I deserve a reward."

2. "If I leave the bag in the car until Muad'Dib's asleep, he won't know I've bought it, and it doesn't count."

3. "I have just returned something and gotten X amount of dollars given back to me. I can spend it on something fun because it's basically money already spent."

4. "Muad'Dib needs it."

5. "Lemur needs it."

6. "I'll need it for the baby."

This list could go on, I suppose, but the most common ones are up there.

Having an "allowance" seems like a juvenile idea to almost everyone I've mentioned it to. But I say spending money like a drunken sailor and then getting angry when I get caught: THAT'S juvenile.

I was assuming that Muad'Dib's job was merely to fund my "rewards," because I was doing the most work and deserved the most fun in return.

How selfish was I?

WAS. Caught that did you? Good for you. And good for me.

After my first overdrawn fee that took $27.50 out of my account, I cried. I expected that Muad'Dib would be looking at me like he had always done when I bought something useless and expensive. But he didn't. His face showed sympathy and even pride. When I asked why, he said, "You never reacted this way when I told you WE were overdrawn. Now it matters to you."

It was then I realized that this wasn't an allowance, it was a stewardship.

Muad'Dib has made the money. He has given me an amount that can mould to fit my needs. Mainly because my needs become clearer when I have to fit them into my budget.

When we began, I had $100 a week. Then Muad'Dib up-ed it to $200 a week, to include gas and medical things. Then, two weeks ago, he brought it back down to $150. Wanna know something interesting? $100 worked. $200 worked. $150 worked. I can spend and I can save according to what I am given.

My spending expands and contracts to fit my amount of resources.

That's why it's narrow-minded for people to say if they had more money things would be easier. You'll just find more to spend it on. I've said it before and no doubt it will slip out again. BUT this knowledge gives me so much power over my resources. Not the other way around.

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Secret Garden

Muad'Dib and I are going to be in The Secret Garden at the Layton Ampitheater August 6-11th.
Muad'Dib will be playing Archibald Craven (the male Lead).
I will be playing Martha (the Yorkshire maid).
Muad'Dibhas at least three big solos (like "Lily's Eyes") and like five other group songs.
I have two big solos (including "Hold On") and am in many other featured chorus songs.
This is a great musical; I played Lily when I was 19, so it'll be cool to do the whole Yorkshire accent thing. Muad'Dib is going to ROCK!!!
The directors are allowing us to take River and Liam to every rehearsal that we have to be at together. But for the nights of the performances, we will offer $100 to whoever would be willing to keep an eye on the kidlets. So that's five nights, about four hours a night (get ready and performance time). If anyone is interested, please let us know.
You are all welcome to come, as it will be pretty awesome. And for those of you who saw Muad'Dib in Scarlet Pimpernel the girl who played Marguerite will also be playing Lily (Archibalds' dead wife).
We're really excited to be doing this, particularly because we get to do it together. Can you believe we haven't performed together since we've been married: over five years! P.S. They called us!

My Three Things

After reading Wildbound's list, and also having nothing of interest to blog about, I thought I'd try my hand at it.

Three things I'm afraid of:
1. The sound of wind through the trees at night.
2. Breaking my ankles.
3. River, Liam or Muad'Dib getting hurt and not being able to help them.

Three people who make me laugh:
1. My Muad'Dib
2. My brother Jeff
3. Ryan Paskins

Three things I love:
1. Kissing
2. Cuddling my kids
3. Singing

Three things I hate:
1. Windsheild rivers
2. Shoes left in the middle of a room
3. Spiders in my living space

Three Things I don't understand:
1. How a microscopic egg can one day become the child that I cuddle.
2. Why so many people instinctively look at me like a leader.
3. How people can live in dirty houses. I don't mean messy, I mean dirty, and how they can survive with all the windows covered at all times by big heavy blankets!

Three things on my desk:
1. A shapes box full of toys.
2. a bottle of Febreeze
3. Muad"Dib's plate empty of pancakes, but still smelling of syrup.

Three things I'm doing right now:
1. Thinking about my conversation last night with my brother.
2. Listening to River mumble as she happily slaps Liam's back.
3. Listening to a bunch of Mudockens saying, "Hey, what's happenin' Abe?"

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Write a book and have it published.
2. See my children grown and happy.
3. Live near the ocean.

Three things I can do:
1. Make Muad'Dib laugh really hard.
2. Immitate almost any accent.
3. Tell Muad'Dib where anything is in the house at any time.

Three things I can't do:
1. Can peaches.
2. Milk a goat.
3. Mix essential oils into brilliant blends.

Three things I think you should listen to:
1. The Producer Revolution, past and present and future podcasts.
2. Muad'Dib sing "Anthem" from Chess
3. Me and Teisha sing "Home Again" from The Scarlet Pimpernel.

Three things you should never listen to:
1. Satan
2. A cat . . . doing their thing with another cat. Ewww.
3. Victim music (as in "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson).

Three things I'd like to learn:
1. The best way to take care of my body, so I can loose unnessecary weight and hike Subway again.
2. Techniques for balancing my energy and thereby controlling (positively utilizing) my emotions.
3. The entire content of the Constitution of the United States.

Three favorite foods:
1. Brownies.
2. Garden grown tomatoes.
3. Peaches.

Three shows I watched as a kid:
1. Super Ted
2. Smurfs
3. Scooby-Doo

Three things I regret:
1. Not loving myself during my first pregnancy.
2. Becoming addicted to Anger.
3. Becoming a Sugar junkie.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Happy BirdleDaydle Toodle Yoodle Doodle!

Twenty-seven years ago today,
on a bean bag in MountainRoad Ranch,
My Muad'dib was born.

Eww and Yay.

On this day, I would like to thank a few people.
Thanks be to God the Father, for everything, inlcuding all the good that follows in this list.
*Judy: Thanks for being pregnant that sixth time. Thanks for raising him. Thanks for teaching him to say what he thinks (it comes in really handy. sometimes.) Thanks for teaching him to love.
*Bob: Thanks for being a man he could emulate. He's a great man, and he learned from the best. Thanks for teaching him to hike.
*Brothers and Sisters: Thanks for not scarring him emotionally with silly nicknames or dressing him up in dresses. Wait. Actually, thanks for offering him a support system and cultivating the tendancy to communicate in honesty.
*Jed, Van and friends: Thanks for seeing him through his adolescent, teen and post teen years. I know that people become like the people they surround themselves with. I'm glad it was you guys.
*Girl friends: Thanks for giving him practice.
*Missionary companions: thanks for making me look good. At least i don't throw out the vanilla, right?
*Fedyakin: thanks for recognizing him for his thoughts, laughing at his jokes and doing the dishes.
*Mom: thanks for casting him as Huck. With that first chance, he has been able to grown so much.
*Dad: thanks for having confidence in the man I married. He feels it.
*Judy and Bob: thanks for teaching him the Gospel. Thanks for making a home where it was important.
*Father in Heaven: Thanks for this wonderful man!
Happy Birthday, Muad'dib!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Need a Path?

Here it is: I have recently heard an analogy that today is pounding in my head.
Imagine you are driving along in your car. You're thinking. You're letting people in front of you, consistantly obeying the posted limits whether it be markings or speed "suggestions." Or you're not. Anyway, you look around and realize "Hey, this is not where I wanted to go!" Either you are past your mark, too far to the east or the west or in an entirely different state, but simply put: you are lost.
The bad news: You aren't where you want to be.

The good news: Look down. Whose hands are on the wheel? For most of us, the hands on the wheel of the car we are driving belong to us. Know what that means? It means we can turn the car around. We can get where we want to go.

So then here's the bigger question: Do we need to drive a specific path to arrive at a specific destination? There are at least a dozen ways to get from my house to the nearest church (and the closest LDS church is literally walking distance from where I live now). But which is fastest? Is "faster" more important? Is "Scenic" more important? Is "fun" more important? Is "safe" more important? That decision is entirely individual.

I'm looking at my car right now, and noticing that it may not run as long as i would like it to if I don't start taking care of it. The vehicle is as important as the journey because it determines the journey. Even in some ways the path determines the "health" of the vehicle. Rocky? I may puncture a wheel or whatever. I'm sure I have beaten this analogy to death, and you all know what I'm actually talking about.

Faith. Religion. Life. The Journey. The Eternal Plan of Happiness.

When I was fourteen, I was dealing with numerous emotional crazies. One particularly difficult night when I was blowing things out of purportion and inviting feelings of negativity because I heard we all doubt things at one time or another, my father gave me a blessing.
In it, I was told that my Father in Heaven could "point out every rock, bend back every branch. But how would you grow?"

Here's a moment of truth for you: My life has not been rocky or branchy or whatever compared to most. But we're not comparing. To me, my life is what I have made it. I made it hard or I made it fun or I made it principle driven or I made it great. I made it faith filled and religious. I've made my life. I have grown into my role as a steward of my life. God gave me the Earth. He gave me life. He gave me the gift of Choice. I have made my choices, and I will make more. The most important choice I have made is how I will handle my relationship with Him.

Okay, I was given it by birth and grew up with it all my life, but I still GAINED a testimony of it on my own. And I know it is my responsibility to continually learn. There are "Mormon culture" things that I just don't get. There are even a couple I don't agree with. But I understand that "Mormon culture" is not the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is not the Church of CHrist. If I search the scriptures and ask my Father in Heaven for answers, I get them, green jello or not.

I have chosen my path and I KNOW it is important to have a path.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007


I earned my grades.
In British Lit: Super-solid A
In Critical Lit: Sickeningly solid A
In Math 950: Way-to-learn-pre-algebra-at-25 A
In Nutrition: Full on F.

But I earned each one! Not proud of the last, but super pleased with the first three. No lectures, please. I'd like to ignore the shame and move on.

Liam had his surgery (minor in medical terms), and is healing quite well. He still walks and screams and does everything normal, except that his natural arch making skills are a little . . . painful.

River is crawling everywhere. One second she's next to me and the next she's eating fuzz off the floor in the bathroom, laughing like she's just gotten away with something.

Caleb has completed the Swamp Cooler maintenance for this spring season (yay! no more dangerous excursions on the roof!) and continues his work at the Post Office.

I will be in a all-talkie-no-sing-y play this summer, performing in July. It's Twelve Angry Men, but with women, so we call it Twelve Angry Jurors. I'm #10, who is described as a "Loudmouth racist". I don a New York accent (I guess) and rant and rave. It feels super great to yell and emote without consequence. In fact, I get complimented for my behavior. That's why I love theater.

Caleb and I are looking for a house. Three bedroom, fenced yard, under 130, good neighborhood. The time has come when we no longer want to listen to people through our walls, and take care of someone else's messes. Cleaning up someone elses's old urine really helped us make this decision. Eww.

So, there it is. A humorless, un-punny update on my little fan-damily.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Jumping on the Blog Wagon

Is much like jumping on the Band Wagon, but without those dorky uniforms. Newest members to my Blog Wagon (and yes, it's mine, because I invented the internet) include Caleb: http://www.therootofmoney.blogspot.com and his minion, Kenneth: http://www.indiscriminateemotionalwhoring.blogspot.com. Check it out, eh.