*Great sigh of relief*
It is time to be Sayyadina again. TheaterGeek struggled the last two weeks, seeing as Sayyadina was crowding TheaterGeek, itching to get back into action. My house has been a mess since the return from our vacation (which I still need to blog, I know). I have looked over the comparative squalor that I have been forcing my family to live in the past four weeks and felt less than great about it.
And then there was the play. Most of you got to see it. It was very good. And it was not without it's negatives. I felt friction on my soul the last two weeks especially. I hope I learned things...
As I have said, I felt that the play was important: Grand Scheme of Things Important, as a matter of fact. And there was a major part that felt it was not necessarily important for me, but for others.
Once again, I felt a brief hint of living the Law of Consecration. I had talents and understanding, my husband had the patience and passion, my mother had the connections and the space, and our actors had the time and the talent. We gave, and we took and we made something other people were willing to trade dollars for. That's pretty cool. Although, I did not take any of those dollars home for myself. No one will.
So what did I earn in exchange for my time and talents? I have satisfaction that I did something pretty good. I learned what it feels like to be completely disrespected by an actor for reasons I can't fathom. I saw a few people stretch their own abilities past what they originally believed they were capable.
And yet, I feel that the exchange was empty. Then I get the feeling that I have not been "paid" yet. I have not yet seen or received what it was originally intended that I see or receive. That's fine. I can be patient. I'm really much more excited about the upcoming child, anyway. And about going back to my home routine. I truly love taking care of my children, cooking for and caring for my husband, and going to bed on time. I love to make our home a welcome place for all. I have missed it. I knew that on the 30th of October, everything would go back to "normal." I have prepared for it. And in many ways, I folded space to get here sooner.
I'm sort of saying to myself - and to my Father - "Okay, I did it. So what was that all for?" I am just a little curious as to what the long term, Grand Scheme of Things payoff will end up being. Because I am sure I have not seen the sun go down on what this show was intended to do.
But I am ever so sleepy. And there is Trick or Treating tonight. So perhaps I should pull myself together, and draw myself up to be a mother, as I am bound by heaven to be. And my daughter needs a hug. Off I go to be Sayyadina again!!!!!!!!!