In answer to the Fedaykin:
1. unhappy: feeling or showing unhappiness, grief, or sorrow
2. causing unhappiness
3. regrettable: unfortunate or to be deplored
1. wander around moodily: to move in a listless or aimless way
2. gloomy mood: a bout of melancholy or sulkiness ( informal )
I am a fundamentally happy woman. I can look around me at any given time and be overwhelmed with the majesty of the life that is mine. Sure, I'm overweight. Sure I have missed the first two exams for my Nutrition class (don't panic, I have a plan.) Sure my apartment doesn't have enough storage space and I feel a little claustrophobic from time to time when I'm attempting to clean.
But I am healthy. I am in school. I have an apartment. I have a husband who chooses to be happy and isn't afraid to call me on my crap (or vices, for those of you who enjoy a softer turn of phrase). I have two beautiful children who love me. I have two families nearby that love me. I am gorgeous. I'm smart. The list literally goes on and on.
This said, there are times when I feel "mopey". Not sad. I simply don't want to do anything. I have a heavy sense of blah . . . sort of like wearing a coat padded with two pound weights all over. I feel restless, but want to crawl into a hole and just sleep the day (or days) away.
I used to panic when I felt this way. I used to assume it meant that I was "depressed" that I "wasn't living the gospel" or that there was something deeper "wrong with me." Thank heaven for journals. What I learn from those pages that contain the story of my life and words of my soul let's me recognize these times as what they are: healthy phases. So I can look at a mopey day and say, "This day will pass." and let myself be all mopey - and I mean ALL mopey: I don't do anything by halfsies - because I know that to the core, I am happy. I am happy! In my life, blessed as it is, Good days come. Bad days don't. Mopey days do. I can live with that.