Sunday, March 18, 2007

Mopey vs. Sad

In answer to the Fedaykin:
Sad means:
1. unhappy: feeling or showing unhappiness, grief, or sorrow
2. causing unhappiness
3. regrettable: unfortunate or to be deplored

Mopey means:
1. wander around moodily: to move in a listless or aimless way
2. gloomy mood: a bout of melancholy or sulkiness ( informal )

I am a fundamentally happy woman. I can look around me at any given time and be overwhelmed with the majesty of the life that is mine. Sure, I'm overweight. Sure I have missed the first two exams for my Nutrition class (don't panic, I have a plan.) Sure my apartment doesn't have enough storage space and I feel a little claustrophobic from time to time when I'm attempting to clean.
But I am healthy. I am in school. I have an apartment. I have a husband who chooses to be happy and isn't afraid to call me on my crap (or vices, for those of you who enjoy a softer turn of phrase). I have two beautiful children who love me. I have two families nearby that love me. I am gorgeous. I'm smart. The list literally goes on and on.
This said, there are times when I feel "mopey". Not sad. I simply don't want to do anything. I have a heavy sense of blah . . . sort of like wearing a coat padded with two pound weights all over. I feel restless, but want to crawl into a hole and just sleep the day (or days) away.
I used to panic when I felt this way. I used to assume it meant that I was "depressed" that I "wasn't living the gospel" or that there was something deeper "wrong with me." Thank heaven for journals. What I learn from those pages that contain the story of my life and words of my soul let's me recognize these times as what they are: healthy phases. So I can look at a mopey day and say, "This day will pass." and let myself be all mopey - and I mean ALL mopey: I don't do anything by halfsies - because I know that to the core, I am happy. I am happy! In my life, blessed as it is, Good days come. Bad days don't. Mopey days do. I can live with that.


Fedaykin said...

I love your blog. Like your head, it's full of important things of relevance and deep import. It makes me want to be more "substansitive." Thanks.

Wildbound said...

Yeah, what he said.

Wildcard said...

Sure, you have a plan...

But is it a CUNNING plan, I wonder? ;)

Ahenobarbus said...

I must view depression differently from you. Your description fits, almost exactly, my pattern of depression. The way I've learned to "cope" (if cope I do) is to have learned to enjoy being depressed - if only for a little bit.