Tuesday, February 12, 2008

With arms wide open

If God is omnipotent, does it make sense that we are trying to "prove" ourselves to Him? Or is it more likely that we are given opportunities to prove our worth and power to ourselves?

Common phrase: "God does not give us more than we can handle."

Which is translated by some into "God has given me these trials because he knows I can handle it."
But this thought process goes into the despairatory realm of believing that God had a certain amount of trials, say 28 billion, and that he needed to dole them out to someone before the end of the earth experience. He looked down at some (who we see as having "few" trials) and said, "They’re too weak, and they can’t handle this much so who can I put it on. I mean, I have to get through them all!" So he looks down at some one else (who we see as having "many" or "grevious" trials) and had said, "I remember that one. Strong as an ox they were. They can handle these." and shoveled them on.

What?! What kind of God do you believe in? Obviously not the God of Love that I believe in.

Confession: I used to subscribe to this way of thinking. Mainly because everyone else was, and I had not stopped "suffering" long enough to ask a very important question of said suffering:


Not ask it of God, because it’s not His fault and He is not to blame. On that day, I was given a blessing. In it I was told as well as shown one of the most valuable lessons of my life. I saw a path, with many rocks and dips in the road, many branches and thickets hiding my view. I heard: "If I pointed out every obstacle and pulled back every branch: you’d never learn." I could see His hand gently pulling one or two branches back, as though to tell me that He can be there to soften a blow or to guide me, but all in all I am here to learn.

My learning. My education. My growth toward God-hood. That is the agenda of the God of Love.

I remember a little of myself before my mortal coil. Thinking about who that being was (and in many ways still is) I must now try and put my life experiences into a helpful perspective. A perspective of learning. If who I was was awesome, but not a God-ready self, then what do I have to learn HERE that will make me that God-ready self?

It puts a new light on every "trial." I am not under a gun. I am not in a position where I have to justify myself to my God. It is only asked of me - not even required - that I learn from the life He and I outlined together and that I continue to create. I believe we sat down together and He asked with His hand on my shoulder, "My beloved daughter. Who do you want to be when you grow up?" And together we decided which schools of though to attend. Which experiences would shape me the most effectively. There are some I believe we decided upon right then and there. Others I create for myself because I didn’t learn the first time, or because I didn’t learn all that I had wanted to in the first experience.

I know many people don’t like this idea. I’m not sure why. I know my reason on bad days is that I don’t want that much responsibility. I don’t want to think that sometimes I’m having things happen to me because I asked for them or created them or whatever.

But I can’t remember the story of anyone who learned anything by hiding from the truth. So that is my endeavor: to face the truth and be sincerely grateful for it.

The truth that I am an awesome creative power, both before earth, on earth and after earth. I am a daughter of God. I was taken aside in a "family council" where I expressed my wishes. I even expressed trust in Him that He may - as He saw fit - remind me of truth even surprise me, if you will, no matter how uncomfortable the means. And when I look at it that way, He has never used uncomfortable means. Resistance makes anything uncomfortable.

So what’s the current experience that re-taught me this lesson?

Casting out my own personal demon.

Yeah, you read me.

Now a moment of gratitude: Thanks to Amber for reminding me.
Thanks to my Coach for awakening me.
Thanks to my husband for trusting me.
Thanks to my kids for loving me no matter what.
And thanks to everyone one else for supporting me.

Many times I feel that I have too many thoughts to think. I am afraid that I will not be able to do what needs to be done day to day if I think my thoughts. And in that way,sometimes it seems so much easier to turn off my brain and hide away until the days run over me to their end. How grateful am I that I have felt that feeling so that now I can recognize how WRONG it is.

Today: I greet you with arms - and mind - open wide!!!


Fedaykin said...

"I see pride, I see power, I see a bad-A mother that don't take no crap from nobody!" Go Chelsea go!

WildBound said...

Sweet. I'm glad you are writing these things down...fututre posterity or something...

Bethany said...

Love the "arms wide open" greeting of new wisdom. Embrace it all, write it all down. Because now I am finding my memories fading of those lightbulb moments if I don't find a way to preserve them. Yes, I am getting old. I read this week that stress can trigger memory loss. It also said the memory starts to go in one's thirties. Double WHammy for me!