Sounds of battle rise from the Living Room as Captain Bairdo engages in hand to hand combat with his short female assailant:
" I cannot fight you!" *Tap, tap, tap of foam swords echo in the morning stillness* "You are my brother!"
Feet scuffle across the bloodstained carpet as blows are exchanged, "Hey, give me back my sword," shouts the Princess her voice a high pitched whine. A fine use of her inhearant tools!
"But you are evil!" he counters, "And so am I!" The fight continues, with mouth formed sounds of hit or miss, 'pthtweew, pthtweew!"
"Woah, woah!" a magic wand has been pulled on Captain Bairdo, and the Princess cackles with glee as he retreats to the saftety of the Mother's castle.
"Hey, stop pushing me. Now you better fight me with your sword!" Not realizing that giving in would lessen her chances in the match, she puts down her wand and the duel continues.
"My sword is small!" she says in a moment of quiet.
"Don't be silly, Princess. Come on and fight me!" his voice rises with bravura, hoping to settle the unknown score.
"I want goldfish," mutters the Princess.
"No fight!" she demands."
She giggles and strikes him in the chest. He backs away with suprising grace, but does not fall to the ground mortally wounded as one would think from such a blow. "Ha Ha! I have a sheild on! Breeeoww!" With his mouth he makes the sound of the sheild absorbing her strength.
Suddenly the Princess lowers her sword and looks forlorn. "I'm hot."
Bairdo concedes, "I'm hot too."
There is a momentary silence. Then the battle cry again rings out, echoing against the walls of the castle, "Attack!" echoed again by his assailant, "Attack!"
"Owee, Owee, Owee!" The Princess dances around the room, like a galloping Unicorn with a thorn in it's hoof. Bairdo feels the rush of triumph.
Then the princess falls to the ground, resting in "Child's Pose."
Don't fall for it! my brain advises Bairdo.
"Princess, are you okay?" he asks, sincerely concerned as he inches toward her.
She barks again and giggles through the noise.
"Puppy? You want a biscuit?"
She nodds her head and barks the affirmative.
"THEN FIGHT ME!"
The battle resumes, and soon Bairdo yells, "I am the WINNA! I get all the candy." They both laugh.
And then Bairdo says, "Okay, Princess, this time I am the puppy."