Wednesday, April 6, 2011
A few thoughts on age, humility and an answered prayer.
And it's not so bad, really. Today is my birthday. Woot. I'm 30 today. It feels very much as it did yesterday. Tired, pregnant, in love, happy, responsible. I do have a streak of grey at my left temple that has been steadily gaining a following, like a cult movie. Besides that....just the same old me. In fact, perhaps I feel better than yesterday because I went to see the Baby Doctor and he cut a whole week off my wait! Instead of May 9th, my planned C-section will be May 2nd. Double Woot! He also said that the baby is so healthy, that if I go into labor, they won't stop me. Triple Woot!!!
So: what do I have to show for the year? Basically a lot of happiness. I've written little but done much. Theater, travels, playtime with kids, quality time with husband and popcorn, taking care of the house like I've never done before. I even lost 30lbs - though I quickly gained it back when I became pregnant with the precious Third (who is still unnamed). No complaints there, however. :)
I really wanted to write because of something that was said in General Conference. It reminded me that I had not shared something here.
Remember the Minor Heresies, with promised "further installments?" Notice how there were no further installments? I had been doing quite a bit of research into religious and spiritual things, compounded by the waves of truth I was reading in Muad'Dib's book (which I have been editing). I began writing a few of the debunkings, but they were incomplete and therefore unposted as yet.
Then I was in RS a couple weeks ago. A friend got up to give the opening prayer and in it asked a blessing on the teacher, Sister So&So. I cursed inside, knowing that this particular teacher was one I often had "problems" with; then felt bad for that feeling and said a quick prayer "Father, help me be humble." Then the friend asked in the prayer that Sister So & So would "say those things which thou would have us hear, which would inspire us to draw closer to thee and expand our understanding."
Well guess what? That's exactly what Sister So &So has been doing! She and others may have said things from the RS pulpit that I felt was wrong - minor heresies as I called them - but them doing so DID indeed inspire me to draw closer to God through greater study of His Gospel. And my testimony has only grown from what she and others have taught. So....humility.
I know many people who have left the church because of something someone said or did. Very rarely have these people left because of an actual point of doctrine. Just like the guy who left the church because Brother Joseph spelled his name wrong, these people have forgotten one VERY important thing: People are fallible, but the Church is true. People can be wrong. People can misunderstand. People can use words and phrases that mean something different to them than they do to you (connotations cannot be controlled or monitered, quite honestly). People can be jerks. People are people. Are YOU perfect all the time? Do YOU always say the right thing in exactly the right way at exactly the right time? No. The only person who has done that is Jesus. So go read His words, and the words of His prophets. The truth is there.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to "learn" from fallible women and men. It gives me greater appreciation for the absolute truth found in the scriptures, from God the Father. Because even if someone says from a RS pulpit, "We'll never get the Second Comforter, so we shouldn't worry about trying," I can read Christ's words in which he promises: "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."
I'm grateful for the courage of the women who stand up to teach. I haven't had that calling in a long time. And it's not in my nature to be afraid of such a situation, probably because I'm so prideful. ;) But for many, it is a stressful and daunting responsibility. Showing ANYTHING but gratitude for their time and preparation is just mean of me. And it shortchanges my church-going experience.
So sure: I can still keep my eye out for minor heresies: but not to mock the speaker. Not to get all fired up that people "just don't know." I will instead take this great lesson, humble myself and wait for the Lord to guide me to further learning.
In conference, I heard it said that we should share our testimonies more often; to not be afraid to share the gospel. This is me doing that. I learned something good, and the last thing I had written about church was sort of bad. I'm fixing that, I hope.
Also, on a related "Prayers are answered" note, both Lemur and Rivulet have been accepted to the Montessori Academy - months after we were told that there was no hope of Lemur's getting in. (Rivulet was pulled just after the second lottery, but Lemur was denied in BOTH lotteries.) I had kept praying. We kept working on his school and saw him improve leaps and bounds. And I kept praying. I even completed the paperwork for registration, just in case. The "just in case" happened, only moments after we had been denied entranc to another open enrollment school. I screamed and jumped about the house like I wasn't carrying a baby, scaring poor Lemur to death with my sudden excitement. Good times.
Well...It tis time to end the post. Hope it was a good one. Feels good. And that's all I have control over. :)