Sometimes I give myself good advice. It has really paid off to "be now." Granted, the kids - especially Rivulet - have run me ragged with play-dates, but Muad'Dib will attest that I have been maybe 15% as cranky with situations as I was before applying my mind over my mood.
Since the last post I've been beset by painful contractions. They haven't done anything, however, except cause lots of pain and fire up false "this is it!" hope. Because even 3 hours of timeable painful contractions were, in essence, nothing. My doc gave me something to ease the pain just enough so I could get sleep. And that has been helpful.
At first I was horribly disappointed that I wasn't going to have another "early" birth. But then our fridge began it's swan song. We needed to get rid of one car that was no longer working and another that wasn't large enough for our soon to be larger family. Oh, and Lemur was about to have his huge birthday party, and I hadn't washed the new baby's clothes yet; I didn't yet have a bassinet...long list short: it turns out I wasn't as ready as I thought. Yesterday was a perfect example.
I had a very good night's sleep and went to my parents' house for the sole purpose of hanging out and letting Rivulet play with her little cousin, Goosey. I went down to say "hello" to my father and he asked if I could do this one business related thing for him: sending out copies of his renewed licenses. It's not that hard of a job - just time consuming, so I said yes. About two minutes into preparing the faxes I wondered to myself "When is my license meant to renew?" I called the Utah Insurance Department and asked. It was meant to renew in 2 days. And I was still 6 CE credit hours short of the manditory 24. Yikes. For those who don't know a snit about this world: if I let my license lapse - even though I'm not a producing agent - I would take a significant pay cut. To get the license again, I'd have to go through ALL the studying and test taking AGAIN, which would be costly, and not only in time (hours upon hours) but also in money (the test alone, last time I took it, was over $100...and I had to take it twice to pass!)
So. After doing the work for my employer/Dad, I came home and completed the necessary CE credits online and applied for my renewal. Now, had I had an "early birth" like I wanted, nearly two weeks ago, this would not have gotten done. I possbily wouldn't have even KNOWN that it hadn't gotten done.
I'll tell you what: Timing seems to be the theme of this pregnancy. With Lemur it was very much about learning where my limits were - especially as related to family. With Rivulet, I was meant to learn that "panic makes it worse." And with this one it's all in the timing. I got pregnant at exactly the right time to be well and/or sick at managable moments. And today - actually the last two weeks - are testimony that I will not give birth until "the stars have alligned," or in other words: when the time is ABSOLUTLY right. Awesome. Super Awesome.