Saturday, March 15, 2008

Alien vs. Mosquito


Two nights ago, Lemur came into my room scratching his belly.

"Hey Lemur. What'r ya doin'?"

"Scratchin'."

"Scratching' what?"

"I have a alien spore." (*alien* is pronounced Eh-lee-un)

I do a double take as I look up from my book (Xenocide, btw). "You have a what?"

"A alien spore."
He doesn't seem as bothered about that sort of thing as I would be.

"Can I see?" I ask.

He shruggs and lifts his shirt to reveal: a mosquito bite.
"Oh, honey that's not an alien spore."

He looks disappointed, "It's not?"

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"It's just a mosquito bite."

Enter the terror any normal person would assume to come with discovering they were infested with an alien spore.

"A MOSQUITO!!!"

I could not keep from laughing. "Yes. Just a mosquito."

His eyes tear up and he puts his shirt down, hugging it close to his body as though the thin fabric may protect him against further invasion.

There is a moment of silence. I don't know what to do - it's just a mosquito bite! - so I wait and watch his reactions. Finally he has composed himself enough to communicate.

"Do you know what we should do?"

"No honey. What should we do?"

"We get daddy to come home, and kill all the mosquitos and then no more will come around us. Okay?"

Enter Mom trying to be clever. "Well, you know, if you had eaten a good dinner like me and Daddy and River, the mosquitos wouldn't bite you."

"Really?"

"Yes. River and Daddy and I all ate fish for dinner, but you screamed and would only eat rice. You need to eat more good food so that the Mosquitoes won't think you taste so good."


And then my friend can contain himself no longer and begins laughing as he prolcaims: "And so the Old Wive's Tale is born!!!"

5 comments:

Bethany said...

I'd love it if someone could "kill all the mosquitoes" also Lemur.
But, the "alien spore", too funny.

Fedaykin said...

Mosquitoes hate fish. It's the Omega 3 that keeps em away.

Sayyadina said...

Thanks for promoting the tale, Fedaykin!!

Nicoletta said...

I'm coming to you when I need "Old Wives' Tales" to "persuade" Jane. Fast thinking. Alien Spore...love it.

Ahenobarbus Textor said...

That's awesome!! :D I hate mosquitoes, too. Kill 'em all!