My skin is not my own.

Last night I briefly lived the law of consecration.

And by briefly I mean for about three hours.

What I had, I submitted to the Lord and gave freely to my brother, as My Father saw fit. As the gift was a gift given to me, I was able - after actively making it holy - to share with a brother who did not possess the same gift, but who was able to benefit from it.

I retain the gift. I maintain stewardship over it. And by recognizing the times when the gift is needed by others, I exercise stewardship by either denying the experience or saying to My Father, "I submit to Your will."

How great was this exchange! Now that I have had this experience so fully - so completely undeniable was the difference! - now I have the opportunity to discern other times when this or other gifts can be or may be beneficial to be consecrated, shared and thereby multiplied.

There have been times when others have shared their gifts with me, to benefit me.

So is this how it feels to give in all the areas of consecration. Time? Talents? Worldly goods? Will it each time feel like this? Like my soul is too full to be contained by this mortal coil?

This experience also re infuses the belief that my body is a good body. And. I am not my body. Measuring my being by my body - appearance or physical feeling - is to use a tool that cannot possibly hold the marvelous contents. It is a truth that must needs stand up against my earth-learned habit of constant physical evaluation.

We each of us have ways of measuring ourselves. By accomplishment, by "righteousness", by monetary success, by the number of people who love us, by the size and shape of our bodies, by the color of our hair, by the cleanliness of our house, by our ability to arrive at a place or goal by a consigned time or date.

Hmm.

I have so much to think about. This is all I have to say about it.

There and back again

We are safely returned from St. George, where Muad'Dib and I took our children for five days to celebrate our six year anniversary. Enjoy the travel log.

This is the view from our back porch in the early morning: around 7-ish. And this would be me enjoying our very presidential hot tub on our porch, while re-reading Ender's Game before the kids wake up.
We went up to Pioneer Park our first morning there, and hiked the "Dixie Rocks." Rivulet was shy/ornery whenever a camera came near. She'd rarely look at you and often turn the other way deliberately.

Lemur enjoying the natural tunnels.
Muad'Dib on the top of the Dixie Rock. Note the St. George Temple in the backround.

Kidlets enjoying the super soft sand.
Then, although Muad'Dib believed we were going home, Lemur and I took off up a hill hoping to find a certain place that my siblings and I used to climb to when I was young. We found it. And Muad'Dib was suprised to look up and see us far above him. This was a "close up" of me and my boy. Very satisfying.

After the hike we had lunch with my Grandma. It was wonderful to see her, especially to see her enjoy her great-grandchildren.

Then the next day we went to Snow Canyon, and did a short hike up Jenny's Canyon.

After which we crossed the street to some wonderful sand dunes. It was incredibly refreshing to stand atop a dune, look out over the lava strewn valley to the wonderfully blue and red horizon. The wind took it's chance to play with my beautiful hair. It was awesome.

My children also found it "awesome." Daddy buried his boy -

And Rivulet got jealous. She kept laying down and trying to throw dirt on herself.
After the dunes, after a nap and after a trip to the pool, we relaxed by turning on the bubble machine.

The next night - our last night - we invited my uncle and my Grandma over for dinner. And after I grilled a delicious dinner, my husband and my uncle enjoyed some Rock Band time.

It was a beautiful place, and a beautiful trip. I love spending time with my family, building memories with my children and caring for my husband. We never had to wear a jacket - or even a sweatshirt! - and I even got a little bit of a tan. To emphasize the difference between there and here: today I wore a sweater and was still cold because it was SNOWING!! Ah. Good to be home.

When can we go back?

Not exactly tagged . . .

I wasn't tagged specifically, but I will take any opportunity to sing my husband's praises.

1. What's his name? Kaleeb Muad'Dib

2. How long have you been married? 6 years and 9 days.

3. How long did you date? Two dates before I went to Japan, then one month and two days after I got home. I did the math once, and the amount of time we spent together in the first three weeks was the equivalent of a four month relationship consisting of three four-hour dates a week. Basically we were inseparable.

4. Who eats more sweets? My honey.

5. Who said I love you first? I did. His answer? "I wanted to say it first." He was waiting for me to be ready to hear it. It surprised us both.

6. Who is taller? Muad'Dib

7. Who can sing better? We're both pretty amazing singers. But I'd have to go with Muad'Dib. He makes my knees go weak.

8. Who is smarter? Muad'Dib. Hands down. Though I have my areas of excellence.

9. Who does the laundry? Me

10. Who pays the bills? My Man. To quote: "He makes the living, I make the life worth living."

11. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me. But right or left isn't important: closest to the kids is the determining factor.

12. Who cooks dinner? For the first four years of our marriage: Muad'Dib. The last two? Me. And I'm pretty great at it. As Muad'Dib says: "The sauce of service is always better than the salt shaker of self-sufficiency." Basically that translates to: "I'll eat whatever you make and it'll taste better because I didn't have to make it." He's so cute.

13. Who drives? Mostly me. But Muad'Dib is a great side seat driver. =)

14. Who is more stubborn? We are both very good at concession and compromise.

15. Who kissed who first? Muad'Dib kissed me. Long after I wanted him to, btw.

16. Who asked who out first? I asked him, but he couldn't make it. The first date we actually went on was instigated by Muad'Dib.

17. Who proposed? We decided together. He asked, but just as a formality. Once we knew, we knew.

18. Who wears the pants? Depends on the situation. My husband is Lord of the Manor, and I am equally Lady of the Manor.

Memorable moments with Muad'Dib

*Getting lost and buying Advil for a headache on our first date.

*Dancing; feeling safe in someone's arms for the first time.

*Watching him play the piano. In the Institute, at Mountain Road Ranch or at my parent's house. Every time I see him seated at a piano, my heart gets warmer.

*Resolving a two hour problem with a fifteen minute conversation and thinking: "That was suprisingly easy. And I feel suprisingly better."

*Feb 21, 2002: The first day of the rest of my life!


*Reading in bed with my husband.


*Reading with my husband on the beach at sunset in Carmel-by-the-Sea.

*Getting lost on our way to Zion.

*Playing in the ocean on a stormy day, on an empty beach.

*Getting lost on our way to Disneyland

*Disneyland

*Playing Gauntlet until four in the morning.

*Getting lost in San Fransisco. Hey, those roads are messed up!

*Dinner at Fisherman's Wharf.

*Our first romantic married dinner. The potatoes were crunchy and I burned the salmon. The brownie pie was also a disaster. He ate it anyway.

*Each time he guessed that I was pregnant.

*Reading Malcolm X while he massaged my feet.

*Listening to his voice as he read to me after Lemur was born (I couldn't see well enough to read for myself).

*Subsequently reading the entire Death Gate Cycle out loud to each other over the next two years. "As part of the ritual" and "because it was slippery" entered our phrase vocabulary. So did "It was quiet. Too damn quiet." And together we pioneered the practice of reading serious novels aloud with funny voices. I seriously recommend reading a dangerous assasin as though he had a pirate's accent. Or an evil warlock who speaks like a news caster.

*Driving home from Panguich by way of Manti . . . what do you mean that's not the way we were supposed to go?

*Vacationing in a place so cold, our electric car door froze OPEN.

*Not being able to go to bed at the same time because we laugh and giggle for over an hour. Never fails.

*Christmas suprises. No one can suprise and impress me with gifts like my Muad'Dib.

*Five year anniversary jewlery. It is mystical and mysterious how a woman reacts to jewlery attatched to the words, "I love you."

*"Oh, these are for you."

*Cinderella Man

*Art.

*" The spice must flow."

*Photography.

*Kissing.

*Singing together.

*Rock Band.

*X-box bonding.

*Miraculously being able to cook after Rivulet was born: and watching Muad'Dib enjoy the fruits of my labor.

*Midway.

*Erosion Table

*Muad'Dib's face the first time he held his daughter.

*Blessings.

*Watching him laugh.

*Being able to hear him in a crowd. Many people tune out his voice and thereby miss how freaking hilarous he is.

*Working alongside him.

*Timp.

*Narrows - particularly the first few feet - because I was showing off and fell (recieving the first and only injury on the hike) and the last leg when everyone else had left us in the dust and I could barely walk.

*Subway.

*Watching movies and T.V. together because . . . well, it's just funnier with our commentaries.

*Muad'Dib playing with and/or disciplining our children.

*The Sunday (while I was pregnant with Rivulet) that Muad'Dib went to Elder's Quorum meetings and came home to find Lemur and me in hysterics. I couldn't explain why I was crying, and he simply started laughing. Which got me laughing. He took Lemur and gave me the afternoon off at home. He always knows when to laugh at me and when to hold me.

*Dedicating our apartments.

*Chauvelin, Huck, (our only stage kiss) Romeo, Old Gobbo, Prince of Aragon, Archie Craven, Raif Rackstraw . . . and more to come.

*"Blood will flow!"

To name a few.

Some nicknames for the man I love:
*Lover monkey
*Shade of my heart.
*Cuddley-Wumpus
*Kaleeb Muad'Dib
*Sweet seductive honey-speckled love muffin.

Six years ago today . . .

Ode to my Hair.

Silky mass, Redrock sand caught in a river's pull

Spilling over my shoulders, sweeping down my back.

Tendrils curling, dancing in the wind

Forever framing my beauty.

Seaweed in a pool, undulating from my crown and flowing with the tide

Halo about my head, marking me as a saint with your golden glory.

Set fire to my world with the light

caught in your long fingers,

stroking my face with the delicate love

that makes you up: that makes you mine.

Bubbles Bubbles everywhere!.

For Valentines Day, my son was given $10. After much deliberation, this is what he spent it on:

Money well spent, in my opinion. It's moments like this that I wish our camera took moving pictures. River's laugh was priceless.

Also, while trying to name this post, I tried to think of all the "bubble" quotes I could. Can anyone name what these are from? Or think of any others?

*"Double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble."

*"The boy in the bubble and the baby with the baboon heart."

*"Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, but not a drop to drink."